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It seems eon’s ago..though it was probably about 12 years or so back, that I felt young, joyful and vibrant.

You know…like I could conquer the world…with a cocktail in hand and good friends to gossip with.

Course, I only had one kid at the time.

It was a time of free spirits, party planning, alone time in the bath and even being able to stay up late and get up early without feeling like my liver and lungs were gonna fall out of my body.  Without bickering, needy issues or whining.

Course, I was younger.

But lately…I have started to wonder if I have lost the light in me.  You know…the brightness that attracts (I am not talking about attracting the opposite sex to swap bodily fluids people)…I am talking about the energy..the enthusiasm…the vibrancy.

Lately…I have felt like I am in a hamster wheel that keeps spinning.

Get up.  Feed the kids.  Dress the kids.  Scream at kids.  Take kids to A location.  Take kids to B location.  Break up fights.  Scream at kids. Go to office.  Go home.  Scream at kids.  Break up fights.  Check homework. Scream at kids.  Cook dinner.  Bath kids.  Put kids to bed.

Collapse in bed after downing a glass or three of wine.

Start over.

Whew…typing this makes me wanna find the next plane to a foreign country and jump on it.  Or stab myself in the eye.

Ya ya, I have a wonderful life.  TRULY.  I love it.  I love my kids.  Love what I do.  Love my husband and our wonderful blessings (which do include some amazing trips and time together).


I am just in a pouting kinda mood.  And maybe, just maybe…not all of us mom’s are cut out for the daily activities of parenting.  Maybe some of us..oh hell…ME..are just selfish human beings that miss MY time…

Or maybe I have had too many nights of skipping the damn wine..

I better go make up for it and wash away the mommy guilt for not being ecstatic over my kids and my blessed life.

Chardonnay anyone?


*please note…my ten year old daughter saw me upload the picture in this post and started laughing.  “That is like a cartoon version of your life mom…” as she laughs so hard she chokes. Nice.