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The other night I had a date with my ten-year old daughter.

It was lovely.  Truly.  No fighting.  No mean, snide remarks, no bickering with sisters.  Just me and her doing a lil shopping, dinner and girl time.

During dinner we had a nice talk.  We even talked about boys (ugh..gag me).  And during the conversation…my mind started spinning its wheels (I know, I know that can be dangerous)….

Have you ever thought about what kind of mom (or dad) you want to be..or ARE?  Like really thought about it?  I don’t mean the, “I wanna be a good mom” thought, or the, “I wanna be a better mom than my mom” thought, or the, “I don’t wanna be a mom like HER”, thought….  I mean, really thought about what you want your kids to think about you?

I have a 17-year-old and I am still trying to figure out the answer to this question.

I am pretty sure I wanna be a mom that my kids respect.  And learn from.

But I wanna be the cool mom too, that everyone wants to come to..that my kids feel they can talk to.  That they wanna hang out with.

I wanna be the mom that teaches my kids self-discipline and how to take responsibility in life.  I wanna be the mom that teaches my kids that mistakes are ok, as long as there is ownership.  Teach them truthfulness and selflessness.

I wanna be the mom that my child feels they can call in the middle of the night to pick them up…cause they did a terrible thing.

I also wanna be the mom that teaches their child not to do that terrible thing in the first place.

So what the hell kind of mom am I?

I don’t think I have the answer to this question really, but during my dinner conversation with my ten-year old, I learned that she has a crush.  And that she had one last year too but didn’t want to tell me.

So that night…I was the cool mom.

And you know what?  I think you can be all kinds of moms (or dads).  Why pigeon-hole ourselves into one description?  Why not be who you need to be…at that moment?

Sometimes…I am the psycho mom.  Yes indeed, I am.

Sometimes I am the boring chore monger mom.

And sometimes…I am the cool mom.  That can talk about crushes and friendships while sipping wine (yes I AM also the drinking mom).

I like most of my ‘mom’ hats. And those that I don’t like (errr…the melt down and do what I say or I will knock the crap out of you kind of mom)…well..I just let my kids know that sometimes moms are not perfect either.

And then I go have an extra glass of wine to wash away the mommy guilt.

Right now…I am going to enjoy being the cool mom.  Until of course I have to go postal again…