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I am in Costa Rica right now. It is pretty amazing..except..

My husband and I didn’t know that this is the rainiest season of their entire year.

OK..Stop the damn bus. Can I tell you it has taken me ten attempts to start this post cause I am DRUNK? Yes. Yes I am. I am pretty drunk. Spelling and grammar is a joke. So before I continue and bi*^%@ about the SEASON of this resort (oh alright the WHOLE LAND)…I need to be grateful that I can be so drunk (yikes that sounds bad…even while I am drunk it sounds bad) to even have issues. Oh lord…thank you for spell check. If I posted this without it..ya’ll would LAUGH,…
ANYhooo…it is rainy. As hell. And yet, here we are. My hubbie is at the cabana….uh…sleeping..and I am in the room…about to uh..nap.

But here is the thing. I have been talking to other parents here. And everyone is missing their kids. And one mom, who has a four year old, is thinking of bringing her kid next year…and you know what?

I am not.

Not thinking of bringing my kids. Ever.

Ya..no. I am not. My husband and I got here yesterday, had a wonderful dinner, a eh heghm lovely night..and then got up..ON OUR OWN TIME..worked out…and headed to the pool bar. With no BOTTLES, DIAPERS, NAPS, or kid tantrums. Hand me another Titos’ baby…cause this is awesome.

Look…I love my babies,..and would give MY LIFE for one…or all of them…but I LOVE my time here…and without them..and well…I heard a quote last night on one of my favorite shows, Modern Family, “our parents faked it, and we fake it, and then we just are”..or something like that (listen folks, the wine is not that great here, so ten vodka’s later, this is what you get..I am sure I will wish I hadn’t posted this…). So I am faking my way through parenthood…doing the best I can. I never promised I was a good mom. But I am a real one. And when my teen text me last night asking if he could stay out later than the 11:00pm curfew given, and I didn’t answer (cause I was ASLEEP…er perhaps passed out….) he was mad but in bed, home safe by midnight…while I am half way across the country. That somewhat works for me…

A 78 year old mom just told me something…at the SWIM UP BAR. YES..she had a cocktail in hand…

She said,

“It is HARD raising kids. Maybe some moms enjoy and relish the daily crap of changing diapers, homework and shuttling, but I liked MY time too..and I think it made my kids more self confident to know that it is ok to love yourself as much or more than anything else”.

Uh…hello…is she speaking my language or WHAT?

In the meantime, I will sit by the swim up bar…and ask for another Tito’s. And be oh so grateful for the rain..and for family (especially the family watching my tribe of brats). Cause without them..my faking wouldn’t be very good. And let me tell you…I am faking my way through parenthood..hoping my children figure their own way out along the way.