I crawl out of bed and drag myself to the kitchen. To make a bottle. While the crying gets louder. More urgent.
There she is. Brat number four. Peeking above her crib, red rimmed eyes and a diaper full of crap.
Oh..wait..what is that I hear? Could it be brat number three crying out for me? Upstairs? Why yes, yes it is. And she’s pretty frantic you see, cause she’s newly potty trained and needs to “gooooo”.
Humm..what to do, what to do…
Do I admit that what I want to do is go in the garage, where I can’t hear (or smell) either of them…and maybe even take a sip of the Chardonnay that’s in the garage fridge?
No I shouldn’t admit that, seeing as how it is only 5:25am. Yes folks, 5:25 am. That in itself is a problem. And how the hell does each baby sense when the other is in need of something-then promptly find they have a need as well?
I can totally see how one becomes an alcoholic. Totally.
Instead I run…yes run..and though tempted to yell and wake up brat number two to help me, I instead tell brat number three, through the speaker of the nifty baby monitor, to calm down and just ‘go’ in her night-time diaper.
And of all times that she wants to use her damn potty, this has to be one of them. Whatever.
So I run-yes run-upstairs, grab her, run back downstairs, stick her on her potty, run-yes run– back to brat number fours room, change a crap diaper, bring her back to where the other is proudly walking around the kitchen with pee running down her legs-cause we don’t have wiping down yet.
Hell with it.
I strap them both in their high chairs and collapse at the table. And pray.
Lord…when, when does this chaos not be so chaos’ey?
Prayer interrupted by cries. Of hunger cause of course they need to eat. Dang kids. Don’t they realize mommy is on the brink of drowning herself in the dogs water bowl?
It will get better. Of course I know this. And every morning is not like this one…but they are pretty dang close. And when hubbie travels…I think I may find myself praying a lot in the mornings..or drinking…same thing sometimes as I find they go hand in hand with me…for now…