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My nonna’s passport photo when she came to the U.S. from Italy.

My nonna passed away last night.  It was beautiful.  It was heartbreaking.

She died, went to heaven and is no longer in pain.  Beautiful.

She died, is gone from here forever, and I miss her tremendously.  Heartbreaking.

While watching my nonna pass on to eternity, my brother and I had a conversation that stirred up some thoughts..and if my thoughts get stirred up…you gotta worry.  Cause honey, I ain’t got too many smarts when it comes to philosophy and life.

I constantly worry about my brother, who works from sunrise to sunset (and beyond) and is in such a rush to the next project, thing, event, business opportunity and deal making possibility… that he forgets to live.

To call his sister back.

To visit his dad.

To take care of himself.

I have been there.  I am clawing my way out of there.

Because, as I watched my nonna die, I realized that someday we will all be in that bed.  Dying.  All.  Of.  Us.

And I sure as hell don’t want to be laying there, mad at myself for not living. For not enjoying my kids, my family, myself.  I am pretty sure I can’t take my house, or my car or my bank account with me to eternity…

I am not saying that I don’t want my brother…or anyone..to not strive for greatness.  I love and cherish hard work ethics (which my nonna stood for by the way)…but I don’t want him…or me..or you… to be consumed by it.

Are we just killing ourselves now thinking we will live in the glory later?  Or are we living in the now…enjoying the beauty of life to die surrounded in the glory of love?

I choose to live for today, in love and in the beauty of living.  Not in a ‘reckless abandon sort of way’, but in a ‘don’t wait for tomorrow’ sort of way.  So that I may die surrounded by love..and quite possibly a barrel or two of wine.

Cheers nonna!