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Today I did something that makes me mad. At myself.

I judged.

I am sure I do it everyday, subconsciously.  Today I just immediately recognized it and yelled at myself (looked really cool too, I am sure, to anyone who saw the crazy lady smacking herself in the forehead). I dislike it immensely and really try not to do it.  I don’t like to be judged (and have plenty of reasons to be judged), so why in the world would I do it to someone else?

Here is the thing.  We are all weird.  We all have quirks, strange habits, different likes, issues, baggage and some of us have a bunch of nutjob kids to boot (myself people).

Some of us have some serious issues.  Addictions.  Abuse.  Mental disorders.  Disabilities. Disease.

My pastor said at a service a few years back, “when you get to know someone, you figure out that everyone is weird, just a little bit”.

I know I am.  I have strange OCD traits and habits.  I have a bad temper.  I lock my kids up in closets…oh wait..no, I dream of that….sorry..I digress..

It is very unfair of us, any of us, to judge.

Because here is the other thing.  We don’t know what someone else is going through.  Or is experiencing.  Or understand their upbringing, culture, history.

Like the lady getting out of her van, with her handicap placard, parked in a handicap zone, that didn’t look handicapped (here is where I judged)…

I drove away, and then smacked myself in the forehead, because I bet, if I went back, I may have seen her getting a child out that was handicapped.  Or maybe a spouse.  Or perhaps her handicap is just not visible.

Yes, she could have been abusing the system.  But to live life assuming everyone is cheating, or lying, or is mean, is well..sad. And pointless.  And a waste of negative energy.  I totally believe that what you think about, you bring about (law of attraction)…so I choose to believe that everyone’s intentions are good (mostly).  Not in a naive, ‘I have no clue about the realities of life’ way, but in a, ‘why not’ way?  Why not think the best of people?  It sure felt better when I drove away to assume the lady wasn’t abusing the system (and what business is it of mine anyhow?).  And you know what, maybe she just needed to park there.  For a reason that I don’t need to know about.

Maybe the other day, the man at the grocery store that ran over my foot with his cart, looked me dead in the eye, and moved on with an angry look on his face, just lost his wife.  Or his job.  Or is just having a rough time in life.  Why spend the energy getting upset that he didn’t apologize? What would it accomplish?  Or even attacking him back (don’t think I didn’t picture myself ramming my cart up his ^&^#….). It would accomplish nothing.  Instead I tried to find him again and smile at him.  A genuine one.  I think he needed it.

Maybe the mom at the park, that doesn’t talk to anyone and comes across really, really snooty, just needs a real friend.  Someone to talk to that will listen.  Like really listen.  Or maybe, that is just how her personality is, due to her past, or present even.  She could use a smile too.

Listen, I am weird.  And who is to say that my weird is better than your weird?  Or my issues more important, less important, or even important at all?

I mean, come on…I drink wine everyday.  With muffins even for goodness sake.  That is kinda weird.  But it is my weird.

Perhaps when I see things…that I would normally judge, I should pretend it is my daughter doing it, or my nonna, or someone else that I really care about, and then perhaps, my heart would be softened, and instead of thinking something ugly (or going psycho with my shopping cart), I will think of something loving, because…why not?

Now…I am off to have my wine…I do believe it is close enough to five pm.  If not, well, judge me, cause I am weird.