Getting out of the house with my tribe takes some work. Most of the time I give up before I even start. As soon as I think about packing the diaper bag I ditch whatever ideas of going somewhere I had.
One could say I am very, very boring now.
Then I have occasional visitors. Yes, occasional. Who the hell wants to leave their lives and come to my nuthouse?
Last weekend my cousin came to visit from Ohio. And of course these visitors, AKA my cousin, do not just want to sit in my house and watch me stare at my kids all day (oh ok, scream at my kids- same thing).
So I attempted to go to breakfast with my baby girls and my cousin.
We did get to eat, mostly.
We did get to talk, a little bit. Errr… she talked, I juggled.
But we got thirty minutes before meltdowns occurred. You know why? Cause of a little company called Heinz.
THANK GOODNESS FOR KETCHUP.
Ketchup kept my two-year old entertained for almost 30 minutes. I do believe I completely emptied the ketchup bottle that was on the table.
“Mommy I want more”
“But honey, you haven’t eaten any food.” Says the practical mother.
She starts to whine…
“Ok, here you go!” as I pour away.
Whatever it takes.