Truth be told, I can’t remember the details with my first. Probably because I didn’t even hear him cry. No monitor for me in those days. He survived. And is now an amazing 17-year-old.
My second? I was probably the ‘meanest’ to her. I had a very heavy work and travel schedule and was just exhausted. I lucked out as my mother lived with me for a bit and helped at night. After that… she slept alright, because I was out and didn’t hear a thing. She survived. And is now an incredible ten-year old.
My third? Humph, she was three nights of pure hell after weeks of trying to figure this non rocking, non lovable baby out. Three nights of her crying and ME crying. Since that horrific time zone warped period…she sleeps like a champ. She’s a pretty awesome two-year old.
My fourth? Welllll, she is our lovable baby. She likes to cuddle and be rocked and probably…maybe… there is a soft spot somewhere in my cold body that knows she is the last, so I have given in to her a bit longer than I probably normally would. She was pretty easy though. Feed her, rock her and down she goes. Easy peasy.
Till about a week ago.
I have said it before. I am a terrible demon at night. An abhor of a mother. Although I say I am a mean mother (actually, I really am), the truth is, it is a nice thing I do by letting them ‘cry it out’. Because…. let me be painfully honest here, if I have to get out of bed and there isn’t fever, vomit, or a body part falling off, I am one unhappy person. And it is extremely difficult for me to put a sweet sound to my growl of frustration (or perhaps downright anger…ya, it is probably really just ugly, unnecessary, not natural, anger).
So last week I had to dust off my ferber method with my fourth. It took two days. Now, I feed her and lay her quietly in bed. She smiles at me, turns over and goes to sleep. GOD BLESS HER. And truly….God bless Dr. Ferber (actually, the ‘cry it out’ method can be traced back to Dr. Holt from 1895…but whatever).
Many, many do not agree with this method, and that is cool, because you know what? It is all about what works for you, and your family. For me, it is all about ME and what works for ME, and I like my sleep thank you very much.
So while you run back and forth, pat backs, hold hands through the bars of cribs, rock, walk, bounce and cry yourself….I will be enjoying my wine and thanking Dr. Ferber.
And before anyone tells me that I have permanently damaged my kids because I let them cry… ONE thing: I DO make sure their needs are met and that they are physically mature enough to handle this method..beyond that…it is BED TIME.