During my recent trip to California, to pick up my oldest daughter, I stayed with a dear friend of mine. I have known this friend for almost twenty years, and during this time we have both strove to live healthier lives…well…mostly we have.
We share healthy recipes with each other, she shared with me P90X, that we both did for quite some time, I shared hot yoga with her, and recently…she shared her
love for the devils work out crossfit with me.
My first day in California, we get up extra early and head over to her crossfit trainer.
I walked into a box. Literally, a box. And was immediately greeted by a very fit guy who asked if I run much.
“How often do you run?” He asks.
Well tighten your laces and go run 400 meters I am told. What part of I never run didn’t he understand?
But I did it. Without stopping. Ok people…this is a big deal for me. I literally skipped back into the box so happy that I didn’t stop…thinking that I could now do whatever he had in store for me.
It went downhill from there.
Squats. Weighted squats. More weights. More squats.
What the hell? I can’t even feel my glutes to tighten them mister so stop telling me to.
Squats are done. Sweet. I can do this.
Then he pulls out these machines. Row machines. I will fast forward through the ridiculous directions and right to the point that I had to do 2000 meters in less than ten minutes. 2000 meters. Do you know how much this is? Do you? I sure as hell didn’t.
I didn’t finish in less than ten minutes. I did ten minutes 45 seconds. But I did it. I did it.
Let me put out there a warning for ladies that want to do crossfit…and if part of your WOD (work out of the day) is to row…do NOT wear thongs. Just sayin’. Can anyone say rug burn….? Serious. Not lyin’. Neosporin isn’t cuttin’ it either.
After day one of crosshell, I am thinking that perhaps, maybe, I can get through the next few days without legs or arms..because they were USELESS bags of jelly.
So what do I do to celebrate my day of crossdemon? I go out and drink! Of course. The best thing to do…right?
Right. Except I had to get up for day two of crossnightmare. Early. With a hangover.
When I walked into the box day two, I am told,
“Shannon, yesterday was a rest day. Today you are really gonna see what a WOD is”.
What the $*#^ did he say?! A rest day!?
I almost bolted. Head and heart pounding with a tinge of nausea, I started on my 400 meter warm up.
Except, part of day two’s warm up included jumping jacks, seal jacks, push ups and squats. Things a body shouldn’t have to do one after another. But we did. Oh yes we did.
Then it was time. For the work out. I am not sure if I can adequately describe this work out. I don’t think I can do it justice. I will try.
Weighted dead lifts.
Burpees. Do you know what a freaking burpee is? The dumbest damn move that is almost physically impossible. For me anyhow.
Start at 15 reps each. Then 12. Then 9. Then 6. Then 3. With a 50 yard SPRINTING shuffle after each set. Without stopping.
WITHOUT. STOPPING. PEOPLE.
I. Almost. Died.
Halfway through this workout, just like day one’s workout, Eric (the trainer) says something that, although not earth shattering, kept me going. He said,
“Do you feel you tired Shannon?”
I can’t respond. Does he really expect a verbal response when my liver is falling out of my body and my lips are wrapped around my head to keep it attached to my neck? So I nod.
“Tired is your brain telling you to quit. You don’t quit. You tell your brain you are not tired.”
Ohhhhh, ok. NO problem.
“Now, if you feel sick, dizzy or don’t know where you are..well, then you take a break”.
Damn, can’t I lie and say I think I see little green people or something? But no..I don’t. Instead, I complete the dang workout.
And feel fanfreakingtastic.
I have a new appreciation for crossnuts. But I will say this; I loved it.
Now..I need to go soak in the tub and put more neosporin on my ass.
Note; Eric from Boombox Crossfit rocks and he made sure I did all the workouts safe, in good form and modified things for me as needed (yes…he modified and yet, it still was a kick $#% workout). Thanks Eric.