Tears occur. Each, and every time someone mentions the Colorado shootings, I tear up. Instantly.
I do not know even one of those precious people. Not through a friend of a friend….not one. Yet it breaks my heart. Shatters it really.
I choose not to watch the news. I read a bit on my phone, so that my head is not completely in the sand, but the media circus that can occur in horrific tragedies… especially regarding this? No thanks. I don’t want to know the killer’s name, family or friends. I don’t want to know where he was before it happened, or what he ate for breakfast. I don’t want to know him at all.
I would love to know more about the ones whose lives he took. I want to know their names, their hobbies, what they aspired to, what they achieved, what their friends thought about them. I want to rejoice and give attention to their lives.
And so I remind myself that life is fragile…. unpredictable.
That, my kids, could, at any moment, not be with me. Or me not with them. And although I scream in my mind at God, “How could you let this happen?!“, I have to believe, I have to, that out of tragedy comes grace, compassion, and love. Above all, love.
So from this horrible tragedy, I will surround my children in love. My husband in love. My family in love.
Because, not only does tragedy happen…life happens. And in this life I will embrace every moment. Even while I desperately cling to my glass of wine on this roller coaster, I will embrace it all. The bad, the horrific, the tragedies, the ‘my god what the hell was I thinking?’ days. And the beautiful, wistful, courageous, “how could I be this blessed?’ days. I will take them all.
Life moments from the last few days…
Because, life is fragile…and unpredictable. And though, I hurt…I scream inside over the horrific pain, the nonsense of the actions of some maniac…. I also rejoice in the craziness, the sheer chaos and the love of my family.
And am so grateful.