, , , , , ,

Tears occur.  Each, and every time someone mentions the Colorado shootings, I tear up.  Instantly.

I do not know even one of those precious people.  Not through a friend of a friend….not one.  Yet it breaks my heart.  Shatters it really.

I choose not to watch the news.  I read a bit on my phone, so that my head is not completely in the sand, but the media circus that can occur in horrific tragedies… especially regarding this?  No thanks.  I don’t want to know the killer’s name, family or friends.  I don’t want to know where he was before it happened, or what he ate for breakfast.  I don’t want to know him at all.

I would love to know more about the ones whose lives he took.  I want to know their names, their hobbies, what they aspired to, what they achieved, what their friends thought about them.  I want to rejoice and give attention to their lives.

And so I remind myself that life is fragile…. unpredictable.

That, my kids, could, at any moment, not be with me.  Or me not with them.  And although I scream in my mind at God, “How could you let this happen?!“, I have to believe, I have to, that out of tragedy comes grace, compassion, and love.  Above all, love.

So from this horrible tragedy, I will surround my children in love.  My husband in love.  My family in love.

Because, not only does tragedy happen…life happens.  And in this life I will embrace every moment.  Even while I desperately cling to my glass of wine on this roller coaster, I will embrace it all.  The bad, the horrific, the tragedies, the ‘my god what the hell was I thinking?’ days.  And the beautiful, wistful, courageous, “how could I be this blessed?’ days.  I will take them all.

Life moments from the last few days…

My husband and two-year old, taking a nap

My daughter, my mother in law and I at a play

Crazy kids…at a restaurant

Date night with my oldest daughter…Katy Perry Movie (love)

Two year old..brushing the 10 month old’s HAIR..

Hubby and teen fixin’ the car

Because, life is fragile…and unpredictable. And though, I hurt…I scream inside over the horrific pain, the nonsense of the actions of some maniac…. I also rejoice in the craziness, the sheer chaos and the love of my family.

And am so grateful.