I myself am a product of divorce, though I don’t remember my parents together. Two of my three brothers are from divorce and my own two oldest are from separation. My list could go on and on from family and friends. I am not writing to say divorce is bad, good or indifferent. But my cousin posted something on her Facebook page that had me searching the internet for the direct link. Here ARE my thoughts on divorce when children are concerned. I am SO proud of this judge, albeit it was quite a while ago and I am just finding this. Others may say he should keep his personal words to himself…but sometimes…sometimes…it just makes sense to say something.
Minnesota Judge Has 200 Blunt Words for Divorcing Parents
By Judge Michael Haas, 2001
“Your children have come into this world because of the two of you. Perhaps you two made lousy choices as to whom you decided to be the other parent. If so, that is your problem and your fault.
No matter what you think of the other party-or what your family thinks of the other party-these children are one-half of each of you. Remember that, because every time you tell your child what an “idiot” his father is, or what a “fool” his mother is, or how bad the absent parent is, or what terrible things that person has done, you are telling the child half of him is bad.
That is an unforgivable thing to do to a child. That is not love. That is possession. If you do that to your children, you will destroy them as surely as if you had cut them into pieces, because that is what you are doing to their emotions.
I sincerely hope that you do not do that to your children. Think more about your children and less about yourselves, and make yours a selfless kind of love, not foolish or selfish, or your children will suffer.”