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I just got back from a mini family vacation at Schlitterbahn water park.  Those three words don’t work right.  Mini.  Family.  Vacation.

First of all there is nothing mini about my family.  With four kids, one bringing a friend, my husband and I, and my mother in law.  Mini is not the right word.  Second…vacation? When?  Traveling with kids is HARDER than being home.  On.  Every.  Level.

Even my son is worn out.

I am not sure what I thought..if like I was gonna have to change less diapers, or prepare less meals, or skip nap-time and bed time antics, or not have to wash bottles?  Perhaps I had in my small little brain that these vacation things are to create memories and have fun. My idea of fun?  When both babies were napping and I was reading my kindle.


Or…when I was sitting by the side of the kiddie pool (this is important..kiddie pool) with my illegal vodka mixture watching my husband play with the two-year old.  That was fun.  –And before you judge..there is a BAR right next to the kiddie pool at Schlitterbahn…I just happen to sneak my own in thank you very much.–

Nap time = mommy time.

I do have to kiss my mother-in-law’s feet as she took the first nap time and I got to actually ride the rides with my older kids and husband.  Listen to me.  I got to ride rides.  Real ones.  Like big people ones.  ME.  I added a lil extra vodka mix too so the rides were even that much better.  Yes, I turn to vodka when its vacation time.  I leave the wine at home on these trips of joy.

Do you know how much packing goes into a measly little three-day trip?  Do you know how much STUFF I have to take each day to the water park? Diapers, vodka, wipes, bottles, formula, vodka, water diapers, food, plastic sacks for the poop diapers, plastic sacks for the swim poop diapers (pause here to say that swim poopies have to be the most disgusting thing I have to deal with as a mother.  Absolutely horrific.  Not only are you petrified that your child is going to let loose a brown snicker to float in the water so that hundreds of families will have to vacate a kiddie pool for two hours…but then you have to clean up the swim poopie diaper.  Really?  Good news: we had none this trip), vodka, towels, sunblock, extra clothes, more extra clothes in case the extra clothes get ruined, vodka, spray neosporin,  an extra pack-n-play in the RV, vodka and maybe something to mix with the vodka.  This is brought each day. Ice chests (yes Schlitterbahn rocks as you can bring in your food and that really helps with our tribe), duffel bags, diaper bags, double stroller and the baby’s blow up boat to float in while her mother sips vodka.

Oh and this isn’t the list to haul from the house in the first place.  Just to go on vacation.  This is just what we brought to the park. I won’t bore you with that other list.  Your eyes will water before you finish reading it.  Good news: I got a work out each day just from hauling STUFF and kids.  And running back and forth to feed, change diapers and soothe.

In all truthfulness the kids had a blast.  Minimal fighting- miracle…I think the kids could kind of tell each day that mom was a short fused stick of dynamite…

I had fun too.  Lots.  Running, packing, sweating, rocking, soothing, feeding, changing, no sleep (why do babies sleep even less when they are traveling?) and pass out in bed without a shower kind of fun, each day.

Hubby and I.

But.  I am grateful.  Truly.  To be able to even go on vacation.  I am just really, really tired from my vacation.

Now, I am off to enjoy a glass of wine as the kiddo’s are sleeping again.  Except the teen.  Not sure he sleeps.